Thought that my sleep will be a long one, but suddenly i woke up after an hour nap. and I cant get myself back into sleep anymore. Although my eyes are god damn tired, and I kept rubbing it till it gets so swollen and red, and not forgetting Im having a running nose at the same time too, but I just cant turn in smoothly.
got quite shocked up to see those texts and it makes my night even harder and slower to pass on. I thought that you can understand, but there's never you going to understand. To me, you're just another him that cant accept the truth of your own weakness. Even I said out its your wrong, you wont admit, and pushing back everything to me. So i think it's no use telling you anything face to face or through text.
I'm just wondering, So what if you are the one I chose in the past, I think things that I got with him will be the same if you are the one I'm with. You'd never try to control those words from your mouth, you knew that saying those will eventually hurt me indirectly, yet you still continues. By purpose or not, seriously, I dont bother so much anymore. Maybe till then, you might still think that you're not wrong to said all those things, it's alright this time. Seriously, I just need you to get out of my mind for good. and I knew never will we be best friend or what again, I longed accept the fact. Waiting or not waiting, its just bullshits to me,and so what if I care, do u care? It's nothing important anymore. You may think that I'm being slow or anything you can think about, but the way you present everything just show me how not interested you are. and When times goes by, No one will spend their time waiting for something that doesnt worth their any penny. People moves on with their life, feelings fade, life get better with activities and peer pressure around. and that's the time you will know. I'm no longer important to you.
Ask youself, are you angry of me? Will you get pissed off of by me easily, and dont wish to talk to me at any time? Why? If that's so, Your love that you have for me slowly turned to hatred, unknowingly. trust me. its when you love, you hate easily. and soon, things get out of control.
So right now, I will put a fullstop here. Be it willingly or not. I will take everything naturally, I wont get into your life purposely and try to be nice or close to you. So dont worry. I wont ask you for any help or ask you to be my listening ear. It's better off to be just friends maybe. Dont get angry of all these when you saw, there's no hard feeling here. Learn to accept people's thinking about you and learn to control your feelings and tempers.
5.35am, half an hour seems to be like passing a 2 hours for me. So slow.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010, 7/13/2010 05:09:00 AM