So I'm back blogging again, have a great time with h and j yesterday. It's a short one though. We dined in at changing appetite and have our craps and gossips session. We have so much to chat about although I remained quite quiet everytime, and couldnt catch what they're talking about. They never fails to put a smile on my face everytime. Seriously, they are really fun and happening people. People that I wish to hang out with more often. It's another kind of experience hanging out with them ,moreover we're quite different in our lifestyle and I'm really bad at talking and reacting. But i really hope that we clicks well.
J and I headed to the new "scape" shopping mall after H left.
Went around the empty mall, and we decided to have a drink somewhere. Had a very unforgettable heart-to-heart talk session with him. and I realise that I seems to know him much more. Everyone have their own tragic relationship stories behind them, who dont have one? But when the time goes by, it mend up everything bit by bit.
Met up with S after his work, we went all the way to Esplanade just to have his "good food" dinner. We didnt spend much time together though, and headed back home after that. but I do appreciate the time.
Well anyway things had turned quite badly and messy for me overnight, not just one issue though. I'd quite alot of misunderstanding and conflicts with some people out there. Seriously I dont wish to have any bad terms with them, and hopefully they will get to understand my decision one day, they will get to know why i wanted to retain the friendship so much.
I have never learn to be cold to anyone, but someone taught me to, so that I can lessen the pain and misunderstandings, it's better off this way? Is that true? Someone please answer me.
No matter how on and off am I, I'm just me. I dont have any bad intentions, no motives. I'm just purely me, always trap in confusion, dwell in matters and always stay at the bottom of the well, trying so hard to pull myself up everytime I fell, everytime I got people misunderstood. Seriously I think, I mind how people that's close to me think about me. That's why I'm always so miserable, afraid, lonely, empty. Yea, I got to admit, my heart is always empty. I dont blog about my true thoughts in this blog at all, not even for once.
I dont know why I would blog about it, perhaps, I need some random people out there to know. Someone to listen to me, someone to have a clear mind and listen to my pain and thoughts without having to jugde me, detest me and avoid me.
You know what? J said something to me last night which inspires me so much. "Take things easy, No matter how hard it is. "
Be it taking it easily or hard, your life didnt stop moving, it carry on for you. Why take things so hard and make yourself miserable when life still goes on the same if you choose to take it easily.
I have to learn to treat myself better, have a bigger vision and heart for everything. Be positive. Especially for friends. friends come and go everytime, and its something we cant change. It's the personality that lies within us determine how many true friends we have.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010, 6/16/2010 11:55:00 AM